MY FIRST EVER NUDE DINNER PARTY

The F.U.D.E Experience by Charlie Ann Max

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BG: I’ve been following Charlie Ann Max on Instagram for a few years now - I became enamoured with the Boticellean beauty after photos of her posing as Venus swirled around my mutuals’ ig stories.

I’d liked, and quickly swiped past, some photos from a divine-looking event the day before, not paying too much attention as I knew the model lived in LA so safely assumed that it was, whilst dreamy, surely out of reach. A day later my friend Kyla, who I first met a few months ago at my poetry reading event, DMd me the post with the accompanying exclamations; London!! if ur interested!! I had secured my spot all of ten minutes later.

I can’t say I’ve ever been to something similar before but I am pretty comfortable with nudity, both my own and others. Whether it was my years at boarding school, or my later years poring over, and getting seriously desensitised by, classical sculpture, it barely even registers anymore. I’ve also attended an all-nude performance art show and participated in nude yoga so this really wasn’t the BIGGEST leap. Throughout the day there were a few flutters of apprehension but said flutters were immediately doused by my enthusiasm, my thirst for something warm, different and exciting.

I was getting ready and I have to say it was weird picking out earrings to go with my (likely super sweaty, it was 30 degrees) skin and hair, rather than my outfit. Even weirder knowing that I was rocking up without the customary armour of a light buzz, or a shirt for that matter.

I got out of the car and spotted a gaggle of safe-looking people which helped me feel at ease early on. We spoke a little, traded names, and decided to make our way inside. I was first up the stairs and through the doors and was greeted by the sight of two nude women preparing food. It was initially a bit jarring but god it all felt so normal so quickly! As others said later, those that entered clothed after there were nude groups of us gathered around the room felt like THEY were the naked ones. It’s always funny to note just how much we are social animals, wanting to belong almost immediately to whatever space we’re inhabiting.

Moments in the beginning felt truly girlish; piles of us were giggling and unsure, wandering around taking photos and trying to get our bearings. Everyone made conversation, getting to know one another, then Charlie got our attention and started a sort of warm-up. We did some guided breathing and movement exercises; stretching, dancing and body-mirroring. I was paired with Charlie herself for the second half of the body-mirroring which was WILD - have you ever been starstruck whilst you’re both NAKED?! What in the WORLD.

The breathwork, led by Steph Cabrera (check out her Instagram here), was incredibly powerful and moving. (Not gonna lie, a few tears may have spilled out of me towards the end of the exercise). It really helped get us into our bodies and focus on the present, setting the tone and dispelling any last vestiges of nerves and uncertainty. I was fortunate enough to sit next to Steph throughout the dinner - she was a straight-up DELIGHT. We moved through three courses of delicious plant-based food; the highlight for me had to be the herbed butter and folded bread - a few of us were eating the butter by the SPOON at one point.

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Another memorable moment was the tarot reading, led by Bella of Bella's Magick Room. Each of us picked a card as dessert was placed in front of us and Bella offered each of us a personalised reading as we went round the table, one by one, discussing our cards. Bella was an absolute fount of knowledge and wisdom, sharing her intimate understanding of each card, and magic/witchy business more generally.

There was just so much sweetness to all of it, the joy of expectations being met and the assurance to be found in our shared nervousness.

The whole group settled into our most embodied selves, comfortably vulnerable and so safe.

Charlie herself was truly embodied, the serene, smiling sculpture come to life upon which all the waves of our nerves and uncertainty could crash. She was patient, proactive, and just jaw-droppingly beautiful in every sense of the word.

Afterwards I felt depleted (in quite a lovely way). We all grumbled with a shared smile as we put our clothes back on; embracing our raw selves had been so delightful, putting clothes back on felt decidedly anticlimactic and needlessly confining. On the drive home I shared a bolt with Mads, a lovely woman I met on the night, and she made a wonderful point; she typically associated eating with bloating and how bloating uncomfortably tightens your clothes. Tonight’s experience connected the process of eating with our nudity, the naturalness of our bodies changing as we eat and digest paired with the naturalness of our nudity meant that these processes could occur with an ease not granted by tight jeans or a high-waisted skirt.

The evening really drove home the notion that our body is our home, our vessel, our one constant, in whatever shape or form it takes. It’s always so meaningful to be surrounded by diverse bodies in real time. We are overwhelmingly presented with airbrushed, heavily edited, or otherwise false depictions of bodies which honestly just poison us against any shred of body-positivity or body-neutrality. I truly, emphatically believe everyone could benefit from an experience like this. My most heartfelt thank you to Charlie for organising such a special evening and to everyone that attended, it was honestly magic.

The experience was inspirational and galvanising; since moving to London a few months ago I’ve been working on a few of my own events with an emphasis on sex and body positivity, and this just reiterated the importance of such spaces. Cultivating a kind, loving relationship with our body is a never-ending, at times onerous, process. These sorts of events are a crucial part of building and maintaining this sort of relationship. Creating spaces that facilitate this feels incredibly, incredibly important.

Vulva Veneris, a vulva casting workshop, led by Viva La Vulva Casting UK, will be taking place on Saturday the 1st of October in Fulham, London.

I’m also in the process of putting together a Life Drawing class with with Meghann, aka Fat Meg Life Model, on Wednesday the 12th of October.

I would love to see you there.